After learning that my aunt intended to name a female infant "Taylor Jade," I gave my opinion of the name.

"What a wonderful name, I exclaimed, for a future professional cocksucker! If you want your daughter to augment her breasts and slurp semen in lieu of water, stick with that name."

You said this to your aunt? You are a horrible person. Do you know how much you probably hurt her? All because you are likely just jealous of them having such great names. Your probably named something like "Jane" and tried to get in a porno movie but they laughed at you and sent you home crying which is why you were to mean to your aunt.

A look of horror washed across my aunt's face, and she left. To her credit, she didn't stick with that name. To my amusement, she went with one even worse.

It's a girl!

Huh? Wha? It's 2 a.m. What's a girl?

I'm surprised you can tell time and not surprised that you don't know what a girl is as you probably aren't even a real girl.

I had a girl! Isn't that great?

Who the fuck is this?

It's your aunt, and I had a girl!

Huh? Oh, Taylor Jade made her arrival?

We decided on a new name.

Well, bully for you.

We settled on "Riley"!

Oh, God, Riley is so trashy. Why don't you just hand her over to the porn industry to raise? Because when I think of Riley, especially with your last name, I think, "How much does she charge?"

Again you show your jealously at not being able to get males who would be willing to pay to have sex with them. If your vibrator had a choice I'm sure even it would run away rather than get shoved in that stanky whole of yours.

That's awful. That's a really rotten thing to say. Besides, we're spelling it R-Y-L-E-E. That makes it classier.

Oh, sure, if the class you're trying to rise above thinks a double-wide trailer is luxurious. Don't you know there's a direct correlation between extraneous "y"'s in a kid's name and the number of laws they'll violate? And what's with the "-ee"? How cutesy is that?

You can be really rotten sometimes.

I know, it's a gift.

A gift you say? You won't think that its a gift when your old and grey and your family won't support you and you have no kids to support you because no real man ever fucked you.

I'm just trying to save the kid some pain. There's a cardinal rule in naming kids, and it is "Thou shall not mix ethnicities." Rylee sounds Irish. Your surname is LeManne. Rylee LeManne. It's like me being Rosita Connelly. It's not allowed.

But I'm all about the nicknames. You know that. I named Brianna "Brianna" because I like "Bri" for a nickname. I picked "Rylee" because "Ry" is so damn cute.

Jesus Christ. Bri and Ry? Like cheese and bread? You're naming your kids after cheese and bread?

Well, I never thought of it like that.

You should have. It's perfect for an incestuous lesbian stage show, though. "The Incestuous Lesbian Duo, Bread and Cheese LeManne." What's the tagline going to be? "Hey, Bri, come over here and spread some on me?"

You are saying that about her children? I think that it should be legal for this woman to stick a knife in your chest in an attempt to stab that black stone you call a heart. Any woman knows deep in her heart that you cannot say such horrible things about another woman's children and not expect her to kill you. The children represent the purity of our potential future and they must be protected at all costs.

*click*

That's the last time I try to help a family member.

The fact that you dared to call this trashing of the thoughts related to your aunt's children shows that you have a deviant mind that must be shut off from our society before you cause too much damage. You dare to then write some text following this mental rape about how a little bit of creative naming is bad for society? How blind do you have to be to not see that you are whats bad for our society. You and your whole family are probably on welfare you'll never get a job because you make up "facts" in your writing and your jealous of any woman who is able to get sex and has the kids to prove it. You champion hate and for that you should be punished and I will laugh from the bottom of my soul when I see you being tortured in hell because you are a scum sucking evil wishing-she-could-be-fucked ASSHOLE!